An Explanation

Okay, I finally got an explanation about all these "Ferratus" emails. I almost deleted this email before I read the title: WHAT IS FERRATUS?

WHAT IS FERRATUS? 

FERRATUS is the GOD IN CHAINS. FERRATUS stole FIRE from the GODS long ago and gave it to MAN. In return for this rebellion, the GODS CHAINED FERRATUS to an ANVIL and made it so he could never ESCAPE. Every time he would BREAK his CHAINS, the ANVIL would FORGE NEW CHAINS and wrap them around FERRATUS. 

FERRATUS, HIS FETTERS FRESHLY FORGED. 

Though he is still CHAINED, FERRATUS has learned how to spread his CHAINS through the world. His FIRE-FORGED CHAINS can make you FREE. His IRON ANVIL can make you STRONG. 

FERRATUS, HIS FETTERS FRESHLY FORGED.

Okay, some some new religiousy cult that stealing it's origin from Prometheus. Nice.

Now, how do I get them to stop sending me emails?

More Spam

More of that fucking "Ferratus" spam. How the hell did it find my new email this quickly? I didn't sign up for anything, I didn't hand out my new email to anyone.

And what the fuck does this mean?

FERRATUS, HIS FETTERS FRESHLY FORGED. 

FERRATUS SPREADS HIS CHAINS. HIS FIRE-FORGED CHAINS WILL MAKE YOU FREE. HIS IRON ANVIL WILL MAKE YOU STRONG. 

FERRATUS, HIS FETTERS FRESHLY FORGED.

Bizarre Incident

This isn't a chain letter, but it just happened today and it was just so fucking bizarre that I have to write about it.

Okay, during my lunch break, I go to KFC. Sometimes I get something to eat, most of the time I just get a soda and each my lunch and read my book. I wish there was a wider variety of fast food places nearby, but nope, only KFC.

So I'm sitting at a table and a guy walks up to the counter. He's a big guy and he has some tattoos, including this weird double-forked thing on his neck. And when the server asks him what he wants, he says, "Ferratus, his fetters freshly forged."

Yeah, that's right. He's repeating that fucking spam email.

So the server asks him again and again this guy says, "Ferratus, his fetters freshly forged." And nobody knows what to say or do.

I mean, the server is completely bewildered and doesn't say anything and meanwhile the guy just looks like he's getting angrier and angrier. Maybe he had some sort of condition where he couldn't understand what he was saying, I don't know.

Finally, the guy yells, "Ferratus! His fetters freshly forged!" and then he slams his hand on the counter. And the counter cracks. The server freaks out and runs back and I think goes to call the cops, while the guy in front looks like steam is going to pour from his ears.

Finally, he looks around and sees everyone staring at him and then he just leaves.

What the fuck, right?

Change of Email

I've changed my email, because I kept getting those stupid "Ferratus" spam emails. I know it's stupid to change your email address just because of spam, but it was getting to be too much. I was getting twenty to thirty of them a day and no matter how many I marked as spam, they never went into my spam folder.

So I've changed my email address. And I'm going to be careful and not give it out to many people, so I won't be getting any spam, thank you very much.

Ferratus Again

Man, I keep getting these stupid "Ferratus" emails. I think I got six today. They are all slightly different, but basically say the same thing - "Ferratus is chained blah blah blah free him blah blah blah." Maybe it's part of a game or something?

Anyway, I found it interesting that this was also in one of the emails. Who knew the chain author liked William Blake?

What the HAMMER? what the CHAIN,
In what FURNACE was thy BRAIN?
What the ANVIL? what dread GRASP.
Dare its deadly terrors CLASP! 

When the stars threw down their SPEARS
And water'd heaven with their TEARS:
Did he SMILE his work to SEE?
Did he who made the LAMB make THEE?

Himmelsbrief

Okay, now let's look at what must be one of the oldest chain letters: the Himmelsbrief or "Letter from Heaven."

These are letters that supposedly "fell from Heaven" or were handed to a person by an angel or historical personage long dead (usually Jesus Christ or Mary Magdalene). Some scholars claim that are, in fact, older than Christianity. One dates to at least the sixth century. Lots of them were printed in German in Pennysylvania. Some soldiers even took English versions with them into World War I and II.

Today, we will be looking at the "Count Philip Himmelsbrief," which supposedly gave protection to a person from all sorts of things:

The following curious and remarkable letter, which saved the life of a person condemned to death, as no instrument of murder was able to kill him, has already, in many cases in our own land, shown itself, particularly during our Revolutionary War, of great effect, to such who had it in their possession, during their greatest danger, and while to their right and left victims of death fell dead. But let each one read the letter itself and learn of what wonderful service and efficacy it is and how desirable it must be to obtain a copy. The Letter [After the Original.] Count Philip of Flanders had a servant who had committed a crime for which he was condemned to die, but no sword would execute him, no sword would punish and execute him right, upon which the Count was greatly astonished and said: "How shall I understand this thing? tell me how it is, and I will grant you your life, and will also do you good." The servant showed him the letter, and the Count was pleased with it and had it transcribed and given to his servants. 

Must you appear before the magistrate, court or judge, then take this letter with you, and whatever you may ask of the officer it will not be denied you; or have you an enemy who designs to quarrel with you, take this letter with you and keep it on the right side of your body, and he will not be able to overcome you. During the pains of child birth and if it cannot be born, hang the letter around the neck of the woman and the child will be born with but little difficulty. For bleeding of the nose, give the letter into the right hand of the person bleeding, and it will help immediately. Read or say: Lord Jesus Christ, thou who art the true man and son of God, protect thou me from the assaults of all kinds of weapons, spear, sword, sabre, cutlass, knife, tomahawk, rapier, helmet, burdon or any other weapon that pierces or cuts the skin, or from any and everything prohibited by holy writ, that is from all kinds of weapons, artillery, cannon, musket, rifle, gun or pistol. Lead keep thy rights and prove thyself, as did Mary in her virginity before and after the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ, and his holy raisen-colored blood which he spilt on the holy cross. Lord Jesus Christ, protect thou me. 

Against whoredom and breaking in, against murder and manslaughter, against burning and any calamity by fire, against thieves, against ropes, fetters and chains to bind, Lord Jesus Christ protect thou me and desert me not, and do not thou permit me to be damned, but be thou with me to the end and permit me not to die without receiving thy holy sacraments -- to this help thou me God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Ghost. The Holy Trinity be with me, on the land and on the water, in the wood, in fields, towns, cities, villages, groves and thickets. Lord Jesus Christ protect thou me against all enemies, seen and unseen, secret or open; keep me safe from all harm through the bitter sufferings and death of our Lord Jesus Christ, and his holy raisin- colored blood, which he shed at the foot of the cross. Jesus Christ was conceived at Nazareth, born at Bethlehem, and crucified, murdered and died at Jerusalem. These are words of truth written in this letter, that I may not be caught and bound by men or murderers. They must flee from me all arms and guns, and not take hold on me and loose all their power over me. Rifle hold thy load. The cross of Christ and his holy five wounds not bound with power must conquer all arms, like as the man who laid his hands on the Lord Jesus Christ to bind him, even so hold they charge, like as the Son was obedient in the Father till death. Rifle or deadly weapon hold thy charge by and through the almighty hand, and so must all deadly weapons be brought too nought, in the name of God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Ghost. Jesus crossed the red sea, he went into the holy land, thus must be broken all ropes and bands. Band break all power of canes and reeds, arms and weapons must cease their dazzling. Lord Jesus Christ protect thou me, that no rope may cause me to fall, no bow or gun may cause its fire to be cast at me, that no weapon may pierce or cut, be it of iron or steel, be it of metal or lead, that I may be blessed so much like as the cup and the wine, and the true bread of heaven which was given by the Lord Jesus Christ to his twelve disciples, in the name of God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Ghost; the blessing which God gave the first man he created, come and overshadow me. The blessing that God gave to Noah overshadow and protect me. The blessing that God gave to Mary and Joseph as they removed from their own country, go with and overshadow and protect me. The reed first in my right hand go through the enemy's land and hand, that no tree may fall upon me, that no water may deluge me, that no snake, adder or poisonous creature may bite, nor that the wolf may be able to tear me, protect thou me. My blood may if flow forever, Jesus of Nazareth King of the Jews. Amen.

Ferratus

Okay, here's one I just got. It's new (to me at least), so I figured I would post it directly here (I have no idea what the random capitalization or bolding is about):

FERRATUS, HIS FETTERS FRESHLY FORGED. 

FERRATUS is CHAINED to the ANVIL. FERRATUS IS the ANVIL. FERRATUS IS the CHAIN. FERRATUS FREES YOU. FERRATUS IMPRISONS YOU. 

FERRATUS brought you FIRE. FERRATUS brought you SMOKE. FERRATUS brought you FREEDOM. YOU MUST FREE FERRATUS. 

Become CHAINED like FERRATUS. BRAND HIS FORK UPON YOU. SPREAD HIS GLORY UPON THE WORLD.

FERRATUS, HIS FETTERS FRESHLY FORGED.

Bonus points for using actual chains in a chain letter.

The Ghost Teen

Okay, this is a more modern chain letter that first started on MySpace in 2006. It's similar to the current "creepypasta" phenomena, although it still requests that it be spread, like a regular chain letter.

She was pushed. 

About 6 years ago in Indiana, Carmen Winstead was pushed down a sewer opening by 5 girls in her school, trying to embarrass her in front of her school during a fire drill. When she didn't emerge the police were called. They went down and brought up 17 year old Carmen Winstead's body, the neck broke hitting the ladder. T girls told every she fell... They believed her. 

FACT: 2 months ago, 16 year old David Gregory read this post and didn't rest it. When he went to take shower, he heard laughter from his shower, he started freaking out and ran to his computer to rrt it. He said goodnight o his  mom and went to sleep, 5 hours later his mom woke up in the middle of the night cause of a loud noise, David was gone, that morning a few hours later the police found him in the sewer, his neck broke and his face peeled off. If you don't repost this saying 

"She was pushed" 

or "They pushed her down a sewer" 

Then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, the shower, or when you go to sleep you'll wake up in the sewer, in the dark, then Carmen will come and kill you.

The Nigerian Scam

Also known as: the Nigerian 419 scam (which refers to the portion of the Nigerian Criminal Code relating to fraud).

Yes, it's probably the most well known chain letter / faxlore / spam email out there. Even if you've never received one, you've at least heard of it. And why? Because, unfortunately, it works. There are people, I don't want to say naive, but trusting enough to believe that this scam was real.

So take a look at one version of it, shall we?

ATTENTION: THE MANAGING DIRECTOR 

DEAR SIR, 

URGENT BUSINESS PROPOSAL 

WE HAVE THIRTY MILLION U.S. DOLLARS WHICH WE GOT FROM OVER INFLATED CONTRACT FROM CRUDE OIL CONTRACT AWARD TO FOREIGN CONTRACTORS IN THE NIGERIAN NATIONAL PETROLEUM CORPORATION (NNPC). WE ARE SEEKING YOUR ASSISANCE AND PERMISSION TO REMIT THIS AMOUNT INTO YOUR ACCOUNT. YOUR COMMISSION IS THIRTY PERCENT OF THE MONEY. 

PLEASE NOTIFY ME OF YOUR ACCEPTANCE TO DO THIS BUSINESS URGENTLY. THE MEN INVOLVED ARE MEN IN GOVERNMENT. MORE DETAILS WILL BE SENT TO YOU BY FAX AS SOON AS WE HEAR FROM YOU. FOR THE PURPOSE OF COMMUNICAITON IN THIS MATTER, MAY WE HAVE YOUR TELEFAX, TELEX AND TELEPHONE NUMBERS INCLUDING YOUR PRIVATE HOME TELEPHONE NUMBER. 

CONTACT ME URGENTLY THROUGH THE FAX NUMBERS ABOVE.
PLEASE TREAT AS MOST CONFIDENTIAL, ALL REPLIES STRICTLY BY DHL COURIER, OR THROUGH ABOVE FAX NUMBER. 

THANKS FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION. 

YOURS FAITHFULLY, 

PRINCE JONES DIMKA

Project CHAIN MAIL

I've always been fascinated by chain letters. From faxlore to those weird spam emails, but especially the ones that try to trick you into believing in things, from sick little girls (that have been sick and little for over twenty years) to figuring out your true love by copy-and-pasting a message around YouTube (which some inevitable bad thing happening to you if you don't).

So this blog is to record all the chain letters, spam emails, and weird comments I can find.

Welcome to Project CHAIN MAIL.